Thursday, March 4, 2010

Confession of an Ex Smoker

It has been 8 months since my last cigarette……..
Probably two of the more significant moments of my life were the lighting of my first and the butting of my last. Sounds sad.

But neither is really relevant. I smoked for more than 30 years. That dates me into the last generation that saw tobacco use as commonplace and a norm. Everyone smoked everywhere. Neither of my parents did. But everyone else did. We smoked in elevators, we smoked in shopping malls, we smoked at work, and we even smoked in hospitals. Doctors and Nurses smoked at the Nursing Stations!

Cigarettes were a common bond, a way to meet people, and a way to share. We smoked at every opportunity and made more and more smoking friends.

It was a right that became a habit which transformed into an addiction over time. All the while we were relaxed, cool. The Marlborough Man looked down on us and smiled. It has been 8 months since my last cigarette, sounds very much like a Catholic confessional.

That is not to say that these 8 months have been a piece of cake. I have inhaled quite deeply as I passed those poor souls restricted to smoking in certain outdoor areas. As they huddle in the rain under a cloudier sky I envy and pity them. The store shelves of neatly packaged 20 packs beacon me like an old friend I have not seen in years. The urges have not subsided but the control of them gets better. I now understand the meaning of addiction, why controlled substances need be controlled and why alcoholics need a program. Push me too hard and I might light up.

I am even unsure of what finally flagged in my head to say quit. It truly wasn’t health, cost or anything else quite so definable. Society making smoking less desirable has helped, my chiropractor giving me an anti smoking lecture at just the right moment in my life, a cousin quitting and following his progress on Face book, encouragement from an old friend I met outside of history class by asking her for a light, also helped. Anti smoking Drugs, well they helped too.

Incidentally, I am neither richer, nor do I weigh more nor does food taste better since I quit. But I do like the feeling that I am more in control. I do imagine as the Priest is giving me last rights I might like one more.

It has been 8 months since my last cigarette……..